The sexual side of the Menopause

One of the common myths surrounding the menopause states that most women lose their sex drive during the pre-menopause phase i.e. when symptoms are experienced in the years leading up to the actual menopause. This isn’t true in the majority of cases and only around 15-20% of women report a decrease in their libido.

There are a number of reasons why a woman might lose her interest in sex and these include:

• The fact that she no longer feels like a complete woman – many women report feeling less of a woman when the time comes that they can no longer bear children. Unfortunately a number of women see their role in the family as the mother and only the mother and so when the ability to produce more children disappears they become ‘lost’.

  This is especially true for females who never had the opportunity to bear children as they often feel that their womanhood disappears along with their ability to procreate.

• The fact that she doesn’t feel as attractive as she used to – women who experience some of the more physical symptoms of the menopause, such as night sweats, hot flashes and skin problems can feel that they are less attractive to their partners than they were before the menopause started.

  Over time, as the symptoms become more pronounced, women tend to shy away from affection even though their partners don’t notice any physical differences in them. Part of this problem is psychological and it helps if the woman is told on a regular basis that they are still as attractive as they ever were and that they are still sexy to their partners.

• Emotional problems related to the menopause – many women find the symptoms of the menopause and what the process signifies i.e. the end of their child-bearing life, very stressful and this can manifest in their emotions.

  Some women can even become mildly depressed and it is during these times that they might lose all interest in sex. It can help in some cases to talk to a councillor so that any depressive emotions can be worked through outside of the home. This means that things can return to normal in the home and the spark between partners may return.

• Dryness of the vagina – this is a common symptom of pre-menopause and unfortunately it can cause a woman to feel uncomfortable during sexual intercourse. In extreme cases it can even cause pain and so even if a woman wants sex they often experience a mental blockage which puts them off.

  This problem is easily remedied however as a number of lubricating products can be bought from any supermarket or pharmacy and many brands of condoms also come ready lubricated. While this may be a bit embarrassing to start with many couple get used to it and in some cases they even find it stimulating. Often, simply getting back to normal sexual relations is enough to overcome any embarrassment.

Luckily the majority of women don’t suffer any sexual side effects from the menopause and in fact a large number of women even report that their sex drive increases during pre-menopause and that it remains there long after the menopause symptoms have passed. If you are more inclined towards natural and alternativemedecine, there are many herbs for menopause that can help with your menopause symptoms.